This last year I really honed in on my #oneword2019 FOCUS. When I first began this intense emphasis on being focused on a few things, I believed that my output and work would be less, but the quality of what I did would be better. What I didn’t realize was that by having focus, I actually accomplished more. In addition to that, I noticed more detail in the things I pursued and with more depth and intention.
When there is a focus in your life, you see more clearly, and when you see more clearly, you come to a crossroads of empathy and compassion. At the same time, I had begun exploring the Enneagram for purposes of team building. I learned that my sometimes need to put up walls, go get it approach to life, and need to be in control, naturally creates a challenge for me that other Enneagram numbers may not face to be vulnerable. In fact, as an eight, it is in my very nature to become aggressive and even walk over others when pushed or mistreated.
This is not a good place to be as a leader, nor as a parent, friend, sister, or wife. Now I know that there are a lot of positives about being an eight. You need a mama bear, protector, loyal friend to the death? I am your person. You want me to share my innermost feelings, well, first I have to figure them out for myself. Us eights struggle even being vulnerable and honest with ourselves.
So, that is where I was as I contemplated by #oneword2020. Focus had got me to a good place. It had helped me to dig deep not only in my work but also in my own personal growth. After reading Dare to Lead, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong by Brene’ Brown, The Wolfpack by Abby Womback, and It’s Not Supposed to be This Way by Lysa Terkeurst, the idea of being WHOLEHEARTED not only rested on me with intensity, it made me see my need to take the next step to not just focus, but lean in and learn how to be fully WHOLEHEARTED in my leadership and more importantly in my life.
With much intention, I chose WHOLEHEARTED as my #oneword2020. I will tell you it has already been a challenge. There have been many times since I took this word as my #oneword2020 I have wanted to put my walls up. I have been put in positions where others have wanted to control the situation, a situation of loss has presented itself and brought out raw feelings in me, and times I have wanted to lash out in aggressive anger because I have felt wronged. I haven’t responded in each situation in the best way, but I am taking deeper breaths, and I am giving myself a moment to consider with positive intent the actions of others.
Last year “Focus” was my word, I had to do it two years in a row, because it proved to be more difficult for me than I thought it would be. I am hoping that I will do a better job of accomplishing being WHOLEHEARTED, but if I am not successful, I can always do it again in 2021. I think this one is a word I will not let loose of until I have it. I owe it to myself, my team of teachers and colleagues, my family, and my friends.
How are you doing with your #oneword2020?